| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|12:20 am] |
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this is the part where we say goodbye |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2005|09:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
There have been so many changes in my life in the past 6 months.
I just got out of the hospital for some stupid reaction to my insulin injections.
Anyway.
I would like to annouce that I'm engaged now.
and that Im happy for the first time in the longest time.
someone actually loves me...
someone who told me they would always love me-
and proved it by accepting my proposal. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|08:54 pm] |
Things have been weird since the accident.
I feel like...an old man??
I have a daily routine.
I wake up at 6.
I either jog or try to run.
I come home and shower.
Go to the shop.
Work.
Come home and eat dinner.
Go to the bar.
work.
Come home and sleep.
I dont have fun.
I dont really hang out.
Its just...sad.
Im only 20.
I need a girlfriend who isnt gona dick me over.
because everyone else in my entire life has- one way or another.
so.
i dont get it. because im nice? and caring.
anyone know why nobody ever stays? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2005|10:14 pm] |
Maybe life isnt so bad after all.....
maybe things are gona be okay....
maybe You're gona make things okay |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|09:38 pm] |
As the walls continue to crumble at a rapid pace
My attempts to reconstruct my life are becoming
useless.
The more I effort I put into trying to fix one thing
the more other things go wrong.
Im trying to achieve mere normalcy
which is ultimately difficult.
Not so much for the fact that "the norm" continues
to change with the blink of an eye.
But rather because i think ultimately
I dont deserve it.
Not just normalcy, but happiness as well.
And I dont think of it as a pitty post,
just more a rambling of my frustrations
of anguish, impatience, bitterness towards
life and all its entities.
I crossed a line a long time ago.
and as the line faded into the horizon
I came to realize that-there really is no
hope for me... and as pessimistic as it is...
its true.
My efforts have come to be useless.
I once thought i had the world and since
I saw that crumble in front of my eyes
my perspective of life has changed.
There is no longer a point in doing
things for myself...because they never
work.
And when i try to help people, that
are either unappreciative and resentful or
just dont want it.
so,
basically i am useless.
and life is meaningless |
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call_me_useless's journal